The Last American Girl

The Last American Girl

In July 2004 while I was trying to ship the first major release of my career as a QA Manager my wife decided she was over it.  She bolted. Sad little occurence that pushed me into one and a half years of dating.  American Women of every type you can imagine.  It doesn't matter why this one or that one was this or that.  But there they were.  I must say American women were great to date. 

In February of 2005 I went to India.  In September of 2005 I went to Korea and Japan.  In November of 2005 I went to Germany, Britian and Holland.  2005 was the first time I had left the United States and it was quite the eye opener.  It made me realize that I was looking for love in a very small part of the earth.  American culture is just not condusive to marriage.  At least marriage with me.  Sure I want a traditonal marriage.  It worked for thousands of years.  In 50 years of modernization families and society have slowly eroded.  Women here make great corporate managers, doctors and lawyers but they in general put less emphasis on family than the women of many other cultures.

While I have great respect for American women as co-workers, friends and family I realized in December of 2005 that I was done with American women.  I am not getting any younger and my expectations are just too out of wack for liberal San Francisco.  I love San Francisco, it may just be the best city on earth but...not the place for me to find love.  Meanlingless sex...great for that.

So I thought about the places I had been and the cultures I had seen.  There was so much that two people from two different places could learn from each other.  What a great adventure to say, "I will not be limited by city or country.  I will look for love wherever it finds me."  The journey will be amazing.  Success or failure barely matters...my long term success rate was already 0%.  Not much to lose. :)

The world is a big place.  Surely others had thought of this before.  So the internet was the next stop.  Two weeks of research began while I kept dating 3 girls.  They all knew they were dating a single guy..that I was single and could date whoever.  If I loved any of them I would have committed but...I didn't.  No chance of marrying any of them.  As my research continued the country of Thailand kept coming up.  Their humor and innocence.  A barely spoiled country with very beautiful women.

Yes, Thailand I thought.  I will find a wife in Thailand.  Within days of deciding this I broke up with all three women.  I told two of them "I am going to find a girl in Thailand."  They went away pretty quick.  So that was cool.  The third one was American...central American.  I let her down by just saying...I don't want to be with you.  Didn't want her to go ape shit.  And she was the type to go ape shit.  Either way..all three were now gone.  I was with out any female companionship at all for the first time since puberty.  Wow. 

Now the journey begins

The Beginning

During my one and a half years of being single in the U.S. from July 2004 to December 2005 I became a master of internet dating.  All of the sites...Match.com, American Singles, E-Harmony, date.com...and on and on.  From San Francisco to Alaska I lined up multiple people a week.  I planned to be single for a while.  Love was always an option but it never came.

The point is, the thought of initiating a relationship through the web didn't seem weird at all.  In fact it was quite superior to bars and clubs.  On the web you actually have to talk and you can decide to move farther only if you wish.  If at any point someone turns you off you just block them and move on.  I must have talked to over a thousand women in America.  I learned more than I could ever imagine.  The web was an advantage not a cop out.  I lined up dates for Friday and Saturday night while I sat around in my underwear and ate popcorn.  No cover charge. :)

By December 2005 when I decided to find a wife in Thailand...starting with the web seemed like the easy answer...and it was.

I never intended to find love on the web with someone so far away.  I mean that didn't seem pratical.  All I wanted to do was try to understand how Thai women think and what the whole system and culture was around dating.  I would learn and then head to Thailand to find a wife armed with months of research and knowledge.  With in days of joining Thai love links I was talking with around 40 women on a regular basis.  Even with their slow english and an intense system of copy and paste and pop up window rotation....40 was difficult to mangage.

I found out that at least through the web...most Thai women were extremely decietful and devious.  Scams and just money hungry bitches slobbering for U.S. Visas were all over the site. I looked at actual introduction services that would introduce you to a new girl every hour in Thailand until you had enough and picked one.  This type of service seemed really un-natural but I communicated with these people and sucked as much information as I could about everything Thai.

The last 2 weeks of December went like this.  Instant Messages, Emails and absorbing Thai women like a sponge.  I consumed every website on Thai women, Thai wives, Thai marriage and Thai customs.  All my spare time was wrapped up in learning everything that I could from the women themselves and all available information.  This was damn fun.  Beautiful women falling from the sky...popping out everywhere...but no love.

I decided I would go to Thailand in April or May.  Four months to study and learn.

Dee Day

On Fri 12/30/2005 12:29 AM a drawing arrives from a Thai  girl named Monrudee (Dee for short) that I had tried to communicate with.  I was touched she had drawn me a picture.  Wow so cool.  So I sent her some of my own artwork back.  Monrudee was a 26 year old Thai girl that expressed herself with art.  I could so relate.  She loved my art as well and there it began.

We corresponded for a few days and we were having a lot of fun.  We cracked each other up.  Her English was very poor at that point but some how we got through the language and could make each other laugh constantly.  I stopped talking with everyone else right away...it took a few days to have them give up but eventually they all went away.

On January 4th I called Dee.  She used a dictionary and I ...for the first time in my life...tired to really talk slow.  Anyone who knows me would be amazed that I could even make the attempt.  I tend to talk a lot...and very fast.  That first phone call I think made love click for both of us.  We both felt it and we got just giddy.  Totally crazy for a cynical guy like me to be reduced to gushing love all over the place.  But it felt good.  So I went with it.

I had an insane thought in my head to tell her that I loved her.  What???  Have I lost my mind completely.  I kept my mouth shut and told myself that I was experiencing irrational exhuberance.  If I said anything about love then I was a nutcase and she would be gone.

For the next couple of days...more pictures exchanged and more art.  Phone calls and MSN video chat. Everytime she talked or smiled in the camera I fell more in love.  This was really out of control...what was I doing? 

On January 8th she says, "Sean I love you."  Wow...she is as crazy as me.  Well we have that in common.  Without hesitation I told her I felt the same.  As crazy as it sounds to anyone else...To both of us it felt like we were just stating the obvious.

One thing was for sure my life was never going to be the same.

Falling in love too quickly

We got out of control very fast.  We had basically planned everything down to how many kids we would have.  We were really going out into space.  It was fun.  Both of us felt like this was just something that was going to happen.  And I still do.  However we planned too much.  Finally my friends in Thailand talked with both of us and we realized that we can be in love and we will see each other when I arrive in Thailand.  Then we will see.  No need to over think it.

It didn't change what was in both of our heads but we just re-centered ourselves on getting to know each other rather than planning the future down to the napkin holders at the wedding.  We got back to just talking and talking and making each other laugh for 2-4 hours a day on the phone.  I stopped going out except for work related events on Friday.  My weekends were spent with Dee or making art for Dee.  I read everything about Visas, lawyers and immigration.

I still expected to go there and ask her to marry me.  We would apply for a K1 Visa and get married here most likley.  But all this was in the background.  The main thing was...this girl made me really happy.  All the time.  She made me happier than every girl I had ever known combined. 

The waiting to see her was hard.  Because I have a big mouth of course I told everyone I was in love and wanted to marry this girl.  Everyone thought I was crazy...except for Dee.  All of her friends think she is crazy as well.  So we had that to share.  I really don't care if people think I am nuts because I am having fun.  Incredible fun.  If I laugh much more I will burst.

Everything became easier.  Work was easier and life was easier.  It was almost as if she was already here.  The emotional support she gave was top notch.  I did the same for her.

The speed at which she learned English was amazing. Now at the end of January she can talk and talk and talk in English.  My Thai still sucks really bad. :)

Everyday we learn more and everyday we fall deeper in love.

Half way there

Dee and I continue to spend every morning and every night together.  Some how we fall deeper in love everyday.  Everyday we understand each other better and get more excited.  As of now we have known each other longer than the wait we have to see each other.  Seven more weeks till I head to Thailand for a month.

My friends who live in Thailand came to visit me.  Hudson is a family friend and his wife Suzy is Thai.  They have really been angels in this process.  Without them and the internet this situation would not exist.  Props to them for sure. They are great friends.

I have scoped out Hotels and researched so many things that I feel like I should have a degree in something Thai. :)

It just feels normal now.  Wake up and call Dee.  Come home and get online while Dee works.  Then call her before bed.  Wow I never had a girlfriend before that I just wanted to talk to for months on the phone.  It really helps you see how much you can really stand a person when you have nothing but words.  Well, words, video and pictures..plus artist expression.  It forces a person to take things slow.  I am trying to picture a situation where my attention could be held by any other girl for months with no physical contact at all.  I never would believe it was possible to be this into to a person and for it to be so mutual.

But Dee has more heart and humor than I have ever seen in  a person.  Every word she says is cute.  Yeah I have it bad.

I didn't think feeling this much love was possible at all and much less under these circumstances.  Damn I'm lucky.  I'll spend a lot of time a lone thinking how lucky I am before Dee is actually here with me but I almost feel lucky to be able to prove so much love to each other before we can be together.

Nothing compares to this that I have ever experienced.

OH YEAH!!!

Short Post. Have to mention that today I found out from my new Lawyer that we do not have to wait 6 months just to apply for a Visa.  This is great news!  We have the flexibility to apply for a Visa while I am in Thailand.  Super happy. :)

Dee's favorite picture

Dee took this picture today of herself.  And wow she actually likes this picture.  Usually she complains how bad she looks about every picture.  Of course this is total crap she always looks great...but if she likes this one then I will put it at top billing.

Dee and Sean Flower

This is the first actual painting Dee has done for me.  She painted this is 5 hours and then scanned it in yesterday.  She told one flower was her and was was me.  She is so sweet.  She continues to blow me away.

11 Days to go

A new Flower painting from Dee.  It's a Lotus.  Pretty cool.  Dee and I are in a nice little routine now.  A day without talking to her is not something I would want to entertain.  Damn that girl cracks me up.  We share the kind of cutsy stuff that anyone not in love gets annoyed by.  Because of our of our interaction is private there isn't alot to spell out here except for I have a permasmile all the time.

I received my Visa to go to Thailand.  It took one week.  Amazing.  If we go through the normal channels it will take 4-5 months after I have left thailand...with a lawyer to get her here.  I think Americans should be able to say I am marrying this person.  After and instant computer background check and a few documents they should just get in.  But I guess there are so many people that would make a mistake that way.  Maybe most people don't spend 4 hours a day with each other for 4 months before they see each other.

11 days may not seem like a lot of time considering we have already waited 100 days.  However the excitement ratio goes up everyday so it just about makes me explode. :)

Susie and Hudson are back in Thailand now and hopefully will meet up with Dee to go look at a few furnished apartment options I am considering.

From Thailand with Love

Forget for a moment how ugly I look.  I know it's difficult.  But to tell you how lucky I am, Dee thinks I look handsome in this picture.  Oh Bless her.  Well a few things.  Need to start back a few days...

First of all EVA airlines.  Wow.  I get on the plane for the first leg of my 20 hour, 2 flight trip and the Eva folks hand me a thick big ass blanket and an actual useful pillow.  The seats recline so far back that the people behind me have to hate me....just like I hated the people in front of me if I wasn't fully reclined.  Anyway not a bad flight at all.  So I had a quick stop in Taipei and then jumped on a "quick" 4 hour flight to Bangkok.  As soon as I arrived in Thailand I felt a little nervousness for the first time since Dee and I started talking.  It dawned on me that we would have no idea how to act around each other.  I had been so busy preparing for the trip and seeing her that I never really worried about this.  Mostly because our conversations were so easy and fun. 

I finally got through customs and luggage retrieval etc..  and started toward the exit.  There was a line of people with signs etc waiting for their loved ones to appear.  Would I even recognize her and vise versa?  I walked down the line of signs and then at the same time I saw her she saw me.  I didn't"t think I just ran towards her and she did the same.  Forgot to watch my luggage and everything.  We embraced in a big hug like I was seeing someone I had left years ago.  Immediately things were OK.  We jumped in the van that was sent for me by the Apartment complex and rode together to the apartment.

We checked in and started living together.  The bathroom of this place is nicer than my own at home.  It isn't the 5 star set up that I wanted to get originally.  At the last minute, on Dee's recommendation I decided to go for a good price, with a good amount of space and a good location.  It has free high speed Internet, a kitchen, a separate bedroom, cable etc..  The main thing is rather than paying $3,000 dollars and being in the middle of no where I am in the center of the action and paying $1000.  And it nice.  Spartan furniture but a good bed and everything we need.

Within hours I asked Dee to marry me.  I like to take things slow.... That is why I waited 2 hours from the time my feet touched Thai soil. :)  She loves the ring and I love seeing it on her finger.  Thanks Dolberg for the back up on picking it out.

The first couple of days we went and got groceries and just hung out.  I now eat home cooked Thai food 3 times and day and we just talk and talk, listen to music and dance.  The main room has a hard wood floor and is perfect for dancing.

A few things about this part of Thailand.  I right away felt out of place.  Dee and I are living in a domesticated way.  Going to the Grocery Store and buying vegetables.  All around us is 45-50 year old guys with 20 year old girls.  And don't forget the Thai Lady boys.  This place blows San Francisco away on the "Holy Shit scale".  Foreigners (Farangs) mostly come in a few types here. 1. The couple from the west.  This type of farangs are usually horribly sun burnt, wearing shabby looking and dirty clothes and usually are buying over priced crap in the tourist area I am staying.  Apparently, according to Dee, paying an entire $2 dollars for Thai trinkets is just outrageous.  2. Then there are the dirty looking whore monger Farangs.  Wow,  how could so many Westerners look so gross and be in one place.  The young ones look like they have not had showers in days and the old ones have this look of, "Fuck, I hope my wife doesn't find out or...I wonder if this prostitute will realize what a complete tool I am and charge me extra",....ummm yes dude...she does and I hope she charges your sick ass 1,000,000 BAHT.  Not judging whore mongering or anything but dude...you stink and that girl looks like your youngest daughter!

Oh and I have seen several Elephants so far.  Smaller ones that actually pan handle!  They carry food in their trunk and walk up to people with their handlers and try to get tourist to feed them for money, so cute.  My very first interaction with an elephant was less than ideal.  I'm walking along...on the way to foodland and I see a shadow go for my crotch...I think what the..  I look down and its an Elephant trunk.  Damn dude...not feeding your ass now for sure.  Not sure why an Elephants idea of marketing is going right for the genitals.  Hmmm, not sure what Adobe does really.  I will have to inquire.

I am very happy and Dee is as well.  While she is very sweet and takes care of me in a way that I really would never even dream to ask for.  However, she is not some push over.  She is very aggressive about what she thinks is right.  My favorite example of this is when I pulled out a 100 baht note in preparation to pay for the Taxi.  She said, "Sean please let me hand him the money..."  I'm like, "No..I got this girl."  The look on her face made me think...OK fuck it, you can hand it to him.  Then she proceeded to stiff him pretty hard on the tip!  She explained later that, "Everything I do has a reason Sean."  I said OK, what is the reason.  She said, "You waste money, you tipped the waitress at the restaurant before 200 baht.  You lose money.  If I pay the Taxi driver he will expect a Thai tip, if you pay he will want a Farng tip."  OK cool, I get to be a cheap ass and not lose face.  Kick Ass.   And if I even try and not finish my food there is going to be a problem.  I have to clean my plate or...well...I have to clean my plate. It's no problem because the homemade Thai food she makes for me is like nothing I have ever tasted...and I have eaten quite a bit of Thai food.  Holy crap it's good!

In general, the video cam and pictures never did her proper justice.  She is much more beautiful than I expected and her face lights up several city blocks.  But she IS the person I have come to know over the last 4 months plus much more.  Walking around I realize that my odds of getting a "A good girl"  in Thailand (A non prostitute or at a least a non slut who is banging her way through school) was about .00005%.  Somehow I found a good one.  Farnags in most cases really have no chance of meeting a good girl because they come to this area and only "bar girls" are in this area.  Dee lives very far from this area and she loves to point out who is the bad girl and who is not.  It's not always obvious to me but she can tell with a glance.

I'm really not used to being this happy and relaxed.  I feel guilty knowing that my team is still hard at work busting their ass for Flash.  Maybe all of them should be on six week sabbatical instead of me.  If i think about this too much I guess it will be hard to enjoy myself so I will let it slip from my mind.

One more picture of Dee real quick:

This picture was taken just before she said, "Honey, please don't take my picture I am so ugly."  Need to work with her on the self esteem a little.  One kiss every minute and tons of sweetness from me constantly for a month should do the trick.

BIG C

I really thought the Thai store "Big C" deserved it's own blog entry.  Big C is 3 levels.  Level 1 is a average size Mall with every type of clothing, jewelry, furniture...etc..  Level 2 is a totally huge grocery store.  This is where Thai families come to buy groceries and where you can buy in bulk and get the best prices.  Sort of a Sam's and a Safeway in one. 

A few things here. Thai Sprite has twice the sugar of normal sprite.  Thais love sugar.  They have cans of soda but you will pay a lot more for the privilege of having soda in a metal can.  The better way to go is to ...1.5 liter bottles.  They really only sell coke products in Thailand.  Pepsi just doesn't exist. 

Oh and wow.  They had from floor to ceiling...a very tall ceiling...3 ailes of toilet paper.  I guess Thai's have a lot of pickines around how they wipe their butts. Kind of like the Pepsi versus coke thing in the U.S. or something.  However never ask for paper towels, ask for big paper.  And there is only one kind at Big C, Scott's towels. They are half the height of our paper towels.  So 3 ailes of T.P. and one little shelf of paper towels.  I really had to hunt for them in a sea of T.P. 

OK. up to the 3rd floor.  I should mention here that every floor has a traction escalator for shopping carts.  Not like the ones they have at Bed Bath and Beyond.  Here you just push the cart on to it and roll up with it. Kinda cool.  The 3rd floor is basically a Walmart and a Best buy rolled in to one.  Apparently men DO NOT push shopping carts in Thailand.  Three different women stopped Dee to tell her they thought it was so cute that she some how got a Farang man to push her grocery cart with her.  Also jumping on the cart and pushing it at top speed through the store is frowned upon I think.  Maybe it is actually frowned upon in the U.S. as well come to think of it. 

My little trip to Big C costs me around $40 dollars.  This included a hairdryer (Dee has never owned a hairdryer before) and an entire cart full of household items.  Not a bad deal.  Also  it is illegal  to take pictures in Big C.  I saw the  sign on the way out after taking a few shots.  Guess they  do not want people taking pictures of their prices.  One more thing that Nivesh can relate to from India (Remember the 25 guys using hammers and chisels to take out a speed bump)  There is no problem with customer service.  There is basically one person per aile who can't wait to smile and help you....if you speak Thai of course.  Luckily Dee is pretty good at the speaking Thai thing. :)

Dee and Dang

The Last few days have been a swirl of trips to the laywer, Bangkok Bank (Opening a bank account in Bangkok takes one hour after waiting an hour and involves like 20 forms in triplicate). and Dee's district (Bangkapi).  It's one thing to hang out in Sukumvit where my apartment is.  This of course is very touristy and filled with Farangs.  In Bangkapi however I am quite the oddity.  I was the only Farang I saw all day.  Again I was reminded of being in India.  Except here people are much more polite.they maybe give me a quick sideways glance but no staring.

Some highlights:  I bought maybe $600 worth of clothes for Dee and myself for $25.  Everytime I would hand the merchants money they would touch the money on every piece of clothing in there little cubicle.  The place we went was like a flee market style place.  Filled with Electronics, clothes and Computer wares.  This was just a little place in her neighbor.  She said this had the best prices.  There are other larger places with much larger selections we plan to go to later. 

We also went over to the internet cafe where Dee would talk with me. Was cool to see where everything began on the Thailand side.  Then we went to Dee's apartment.  It is a 1 room apartment that reminded me of a college dorm.  It is small but it is very clean.  Dee and her sister Dang live there together.  Dang is very cool.  She is the younger sister and the two of them together are pretty funny.  They both spend most of their time making fun of each other.  At the apartment I had my first experience using an Asian style toilet.  Enough said.

We finished up the day with Dee and I going to eat Italian food at a little place by my apartment.  I couldn't help it.  I really found myself craving pizza.  Then I wanted to check out the local flavors of rum and tequilla at the pub next door.  Dee had talked to me several times when I was raging drunk after a Mars visit...but I thought it was important to see me wasted in person.  She had two sips of a Mai Tai and I had two double rum and cokes and a shot of tequila.  She enjoyed seeing me drunk...well I think that proves she loves me if nothing else does. :)

I still have not riden an elephant but we are trying to get all the legal errands out of the way this week so all of that is done.  One more trip to the lawyer on Friday and then we are all set at least for now.

A Day in Bangkok

I am master of Bangkok Transit.  Period.  Sky train, Taxis and the underground.  I have gone back and forth on every line in search of passport style photos, shopping, lawyers and on and on. Today we finished all the erands we needed to do in order to complete the Visa application.  It was a lot of shit.  A simple trip to one place and then back again can be hours.  In a few days I think I must of covered 100 miles around Bangkok in 95 to 100 degree heat.  It hasn't felt like a vacation so much so far.  More of a mission.

At 5:00 p.m. on Friday, Bangkok time we arrive at the lawyers office again.  He completed all papers for us for Dee's Visa application and it was sent Fedex back to the processing center in California.  I'm sure immigration in Californina isn't very busy or anything. :)  Now we wait 1-2 months for the application to be approved.  Then there will be another round of documents and errands for the U.S. Embassy.

I think now I can relax.  Maybe get a one hour massage...just a massage Tony...for about $6 dollars.  I may spring for $15 to have three people work on me at once.

I would highly recommend a Japanese resteraunt called Fuji by the way.  I have so far eaten there twice.  It is located in a little plaza just as you come out of Salem Daeng Sky train station.  Oh and they will not serve you hot sake at 2 in the afternoon.  The first time I went there I was informed of this.  When I went back all the menu's had little pieces of paper taped on them that said "No Alchohol until after 5 p.m."  The food is delicious.

My molar hurts like hell everytime I chew.  That fucking dentist must have put the cap on wrong.  Fucking teeth problems are pissing me off.  The Dental services here are actually world class so I may inquire about getting it adjusted.  If you take a bite of tempura and then feel shooting pain...well maybe not normal 1 week after dental surgery. 

Dee and I are really trouble together.  We have such a great time and people think we are "ba".  Ba means crazy.  As I mentioned before people don't stare as much as they do in India at me.  But sometimes Thai men glare at me.  They glare because they can tell Dee is not a prostitute and is still with a Farang.  Not sure why they care, from what I can tell men are out numbered in Thailand about 4 to 1.  I found a solution for the staring however.  If a Thai man glares at you just smile and wave at them.  It makes them very uncomfortable and cracks my ass up.  I wonder how long it will take for someone to stab me.  Not really likely that someone will attack a foreigner...it will guarentee their execution.  If you want someone killed in Thailand you only need to pay $5000 baht ($130 dollars).  But the average person on the street isn't going to spend that or be able to track me down later just for smiling and waving.

Some things on Thai culture.  You DO NOT kiss in public.  Only idiot foreigners do this with "bad girls".  You can hold hands but that is it.  Also smoking in public is frowned upon in general just like San Francisco.  I find a nice quiet corner with an ash tray nearby and hang my head in shame....just like San Francisco. :)

I asked Dee why do Thai people think Farangs are so bad because they sleep with prositutes.  I mean Thailand makes it legal so what do they expect.  She said, "Every man in Thailand has sex with prostitutes but they keep it very secret.  Farangs do it openly and this is considered to be so terrible."  As I mentioned before it turns my stomach to see Farangs walking around with prostitutes so I can't even imagine how irriated Thai's are about this considering the cultural information Dee provided.

If you pay more than 50 bar (1 dollar or so) for a beer you got screwed.  Always check your bill when it comes...for anything, laundry, food...anything.  It will almost always be wrong. Dee goes over my bill with a fine tooth comb before she allows me to pay and almost always finds mistakes.

Peace Out.

Later that night..

Not much of a night.  Just a trip to Fuji after a long day and then the trip back to the Apartment.  Got a great shot of Dee and my first Elephant feeding.  This baby elephant really was impatient.  I fed it three bags of fruit and I was stalling while Dee got the camera ready.  The thing started yelping at me and moving towards me like, "Yo bitch give me my fruit."  It all worked out ok and it only cost me 50 baht (1.25 dollars).

Feeding Fish For Luck

We started the day today with Dee's Uncle and Aunt plus their two children.  We went to a huge park.  The entire park is a living story of Buddhism.  The place is called put-a-mon-ton.  They told me that for good luck before we started our various adventures for the day that we should feed the fish.  Buddha I guess really appreciates that.

Thailand and Buddishm

This same park a little later in the day.  Their is a huge statue of Buddha in the middle of the park where people go to pray.  You get 3 incense sticks and a flower.  You light a little yellow candle and put it in a stove like thing.  Then you light the incense and take the incense and flower and kneel down and pray.  Then you take a coin and throw it up on the statue and say another prayer.  So cool.

Later we went to a museum which had wax models of famous Thai historical figures.  Learned everything about Thailand.  Then we went to a park called the rose garden to do some elephant rides.  It was too late in the day to ride elephants but I did see a few.

Prior to this day I have not put in any entries because it has just been all shopping and more shopping.  I can not say enough about Pan-Tip.  7 Levels of software and IT stuff for so cheap.  In that area are 7 and 8 story malls filled with clothing.  How about 6 pair of jeans for about $12 dollars for Dee.  Or for me.  12 outfits for a total of about $25 dollars. More shopping today coming up soon.

I had this impression of Thailand and Thai people before I came as being poor and desperate.  I actually think their are more homeless people in San Francisco than Bangkok.  Dee's Uncle has a nice SUV and 2 houses.  Thai people have Malls and shops and great food.  The city for the most part is beautiful.  They are not some desperate people begging to leave.  This is no Iraq or Mexico.  Not at all. 

Sure their apartments are small and the air quality is crap but overall Thai people work hard and live very well.  And sure...you can get a Thai Style massage for two people including a princely tip to both girls doing the massage for $25.  This is paradise for sure.

I think I am Buddhist now.  To be Buddhist all you have to do is TRY (The key word is try) to not 1. Not kill anything, including bugs. 2. Do not steal 3. Do not lie 4. Do not be unfaithful once married 5. TRY not to drink or smoke.  That is the basic requirements.  Well 4 out of 5 are easy enough. You can pray to Christian, Jewish, Hindu or any gods you want to pray to.  What a deal.

Bangkok Info and such

The above picture was taken in one of about 1000 shops we have been to.  I have the prices down now.  Pretty much the same as India.  Take their price and divide by 4 and demand this price.  Depends on the type of shop.  Some mom and pop type places don't try and fuck you as hard in the first place.  And sometimes I just like the people and don't mind paying a small amount more than the bare minimum. 

Silk pillow cases that have lots of hand stitching can run anywhere between 400 to 200 baht.  I payed 150.  No more.  Of course I bought 4 so that always helps your bargaining ability.  If you know you are buying several different things, don't bother arguing for each item.  Just keep handing the shop keeper items to put on the counter and then at the end determine in your head what you think the whole pile is worth.  Then sick your hot Thai fiancee on them and go outside and smoke a cig.  Or just drink some water if you don't smoke.  When you come back the price will be what you want or even lower.  Dee is ruthless with this shit. I do the arguing myself if they speak English at all...or even if they don't I just grab their calculator and point at  a number...then signal..I pay this or I go.  That usually works as long as you are asking for 10% off of what the price SHOULD be for a Thai.

Oh and don't bother going to the shooting range to shoot M-16's.  They want 3500 Baht for 20 bullets!  That is so out of line.  Also don't laugh in their face when they tell you the price and scream that it costs less in America.  I really wanted to fire assault weapons but for 3500 baht you can buy 3 weeks of groceries, or eat a nice dinner 10 times, or buy a tailored made copy of an Armani beach suit (Which I have), or a tailored made cashmere trench coat.  3500 is $92 dollars by the way.  $92 to shoot a gun 20 times.  Fuck that.

On Sky Train never step over the yellow line.  Every station has a cop who just stands there and waits for some asshole to step over the yellow line so they can blow their whistle and charge them.  I actually never did this but saw several other folks do it.  I was thinking...Use the night stick!  Use the Night stick.  The cop restrained himself however.

If you want to laugh while shopping you can go to the Paragon.  A huge new Western Style Mall with Western prices.  Thais go there and just look.  No one buys.  Not sure how they stay open.  In fact CPU hardware is more expensive here.  Import tax.  Like you would want to buy hardware here anyway.

The big place for amazing shopping with amazing prices is Pra-Tu-Nam.  Just 5 story building after 5 story building all the size of multiple football fields filled with handicrafts, clothing and jewelry.  Some prices here are marked low to begin with but the handicrafts still tend to be initially priced for westerners.  I'm trying to buy a huge hand embroidered Thai thing for above my bed.  It is a certain style you see all over the place.  I have seen prices for this size as high as $5000 baht.  I scored mine for $1000 baht.  Same exact thing.  I can't take credit for the negotiation on that one.  I had to bring in the big guns for that one.  My friend's wife Susy.  The master.  She wears them down until they almost cry.  hahaha.  I didn't actually buy it yet.  The one I want needs to be a little different but now I know what the price should be.

I have been looking to find Dolberg some fake sneaks.  Have not found the perfect pair yet. Still looking.  I am however well on my way to making my apartment "Little Thailand"  for when Dee comes.  So cool she is helping me pick everything out.  I want her to feel like it is her place when she arrives as much as possible.

Was trying to make this just about shopping so I will stop here.

The Hindu Place

This is the place where Dee prayed about me before I arrived.  She prayed that if I was a bad person that I would never come to Thailand and if I was a good person that I would come and we would marry.  Well, I made it here and we are engaged.  Not sure if I am a good person but I know I love her very much.  Anyway this is a popular place for people to come and pray about love.

Thinking that someone got on their knees and prayed like that does choke me up a little.  Most prayers about me probably went something like, "Please God make him shut up."  or "please make him stop dating the other 5 girls".

You see these little temples all over Bangkok.  They are just part of normal life. Every so often they have traditional Thai dancing in these places.  Need to get a picture of that soon.

Dee is in the other room cooking breakfast right now and singing again.  So I thought I would mention that Dee loves to sing. She sings all day.  Just breaks into song all the time.  She has a really sweet voice.  But mostly it is just the heart with which she sings.  Never had a girl who sings all the time.  Very cool.  She plays this Thai flute thingy for me sometimes and sings Thai love songs.  No clue what she is saying but I don't really need to.  It just makes me smile.

A night with Dee's friends

Saturday night we went to aplace called Twan Dang( It means Sunshine and Moonlight).  They have live music.  We meant up with about 10 of her friends or so.  The place is a bunch of long tables.  Everyone sits and dances by their table.  You order food and drink etc..

Watch out in the bathrooms tho.  The guys that work in there want to put a hot towel on your neck and massage you while you piss.  Then they expect 20 baht everytime.  I'm like yo...fuck off I'm pissing here.

All of her friends are really nice and cool. Super friendly.  They all can put away alcohol at about the San level.  So cute.  Dee had I think 2 beers and was almost Sean style out of control.

After this first place one of the guys heard I liked Trance music.  So he took us to a place with kick ass Trance.  I proceeded to own the place as usual.  All these girls had never been to a place like this but they all danced until 3 a.m.  And danced really well actually.  All of them. Was a kick ass club and amazing trance.  You never here trance like that in San Francisco anymore.  People are way over it.  Not at this place. 

The only annoying thing there was the people that worked there.  They wear orange jump suits and jester hats.  Ever time I turned around one of these psuedo prisoners was in my way.  Eventually they figured out that if they walked in my space they would get Trance hockey ckecked 40% of the time and stayed cleared.  Some people, including myself, need a good elbow to the face to learn anything.

Dee Scored this picture of me right after an average Trance Hockey check.

Nakorn Si Thammarat

Dee has lived in Bangkok for the last 6 years.  But she was born and raised in Nakorn Si Thammarat.  This Southern district is a little like rural Mississippi.  We arrived at a 1 gate airport after about a 1 hour flight.  If you go to Nakorn Si Thammarat you stay at the Twin Lotus Hotel.  Period.  No where else to stay in the central city.  Unless you are visiting the family of the woman you are going to marry I am not sure why you would come here at all.  It has beaches.  But unless you are a fisherman I wouldn't recommend them.

We drove up and and down the coast looking for some hidden paradise but none to be found.  There is an island off the coast which is paradise on earth.  It is called Koh Samui.  Very developed and filled with white sand beaches.

Anyway we were here to meet the family not to relax on the beach. 

The Temple in Dee's District

We rented a car on two different days.  On one of those days we found this temple.  Built 1700 years ago. I don't think the monks here see white people very often but they were cool to me.  We toured the entire place made some donations and off we went to the next stop.

Dee's Village and Family

Yes mostly blurry pictures.  I don't know why.  After a 2 hour drive from the central city we arrived at Dee's village.  Dee has maybe 40 relations in this village.  The picture with me in it is me with Dee's grandma and grandpa.  I met her mother, uncles, cousins etc.  Dee rode me around on a motorcycle around the village as we visited different people's houses.

I ate Pad Moo with all ingredients from Dee's Grandpa's farm.  Pork from a pig he killed the previous day.  Rice he grew.  Basil and other things that Dee's mom grew.  Wow was that good.  People say to be careful about what you eat in Thailand...or any third world country.  I have gotten mildly sick from some restaurants in Bangkok but everything I ate here was kick ass and I had no problems.

All the kids in the village came to Dee's mom's house while I was there.  Dee says their parents all said to go see the Farang.  None of them had ever seen a white person.  This place is very deep in the southern jungle and no western people come here because there is really no touristy shit.  All the kids had sling shots.  I can not speak Thai but I can speak the language of shoot coconuts out of the trees with a sling shot.  Must have spent an hour cracking the little kids up trying to shoot coconuts. Everytime I would shoot they would clap and say Hua-Yua!

The family talked with me for hours with Dee translating everything.  Super nice people.  I mean really nice.  They all have clean well kept houses and make a good living off of building houses, farming and chopping down their orchids of rubber trees.

I have a great video of Dee riding me around on the back of a motorcycle.  Everyone was too afraid to let me drive. I drove once and then people came running and made me stop.  Not supposed to pop into 2nd gear and pull a wheelie on a scooter I guess.  Geez can't a farang have any fun? :)

They all wanted me to move there and cut rubber trees for the rest of my life.  Tempting but they do not have Internet so no chance.  Everyone is very excited about the big Buddhist ceremony we will have in October when the Visa is approved.  I am as well.

It is amazing to me that people who live such simple lives are so fucking happy.  They all laugh and joke non stop.  No one believed that I was real except Dee's mother prior to my arrival. Dee says they all love me now and would be super pissed if she went for any other guy.  Maybe some day more people in the U.S. will not think I am a total moron as well.

The Grand Palace and Boobies

Interesting title for this blog entry.  I have like 100 pictures of Dee and I's tour of the Grand Palace.  It is so huge and so beautiful.  It really takes your breath away.  It is like nothing else I have ever seen.  It is like Disneyland for Thailand and Buddhism.  But if you have seen one insanely beautiful palace that was build in the 1700's for the Kings of Thailand I guess you have seen them  all. It's name in Thai is Wat Phra Kaeo.  Check it out next time you are in Thailand.

Now on to the boobies part.  Sorry no pictures.  I wanted to talk about the Sex trade in Thailand from a purely sociological point of view.  If this information is interesting or helpful to anyone that is great also.  Dee and I have toured everything in Thailand and this includes going to the Go Go bars etc..  I have talked to the owners of many of the famous brothels and on and on.

The sex trade in Bangkok is composed of three main types of places.  First there are the Go Go bars.  In these places usually 2 dozen or so women stand on a stage much like strippers use in America.  However here they all have numbers on their bra.  They do not get naked at all by the way.  The waitresses also have numbers on their chests.  If a guy wants to have sex with one he just tells someone who works there the number and then buys the girl an over priced drink.  If she digs him they go upstairs for a quickie or back to his hotel for a longer stay.  The girls in these places are often tired as hell and dance with all the enthusiasm Of a cow being led to the slaughter.  There are exceptions to this but this is the norm.

You can tell the places where girls are treated good by management.  They often have more energy and smile more.  No one messes with Dee and I.  They see me drinking and her sipping tea and are baffled why we are there.  Oh..and often..co-ed bathrooms.  That freaked me out.

Sometimes in these places they also have waitress that want you to buy them drinks just to hang out.  In some of them they have a little room to dance and when they played trance or house I danced like crazy and ignored the strippers...err whores.  Here and there they have shows more reminiscent of an American strip bar...maybe once an hour or so.

In one of these Go Go bars they had a western theme complete with a Mechanical bull.  If you can stay on for 1 minute you get a free drink.  Oh hell yes I thought...my Missouri up bringing might actually get me something for once.  So I mounted up.  The bull was controlled by one of the prostitutes working there.  The first 30 seconds I thought I was such a stud.  Then she gave it the turbo and I flew across the room.  For a moment as I lay on my face on the air cushion thingy around the bull I realized....I am in Bangkok with my finance at a Go Go bar and a whore just made me fly off a mechanical bull.  I think I almost had a melt down laughing so hard for the next couple of minutes.  Damn that shit is funny.

Be careful some of these places are only lady boys.  And they are damn well done.  Look for the atoms apple before you go in.  Drinks cost about 150 baht (roughly 3 dollars).  Some great places to go for this are the Nana entertainment center and Soi Cowboy.  They have all this shit in Pattaya as well I here but this is about Bangkok.

The next place is a standard whore house.  Only went into one of these because it is world famous.  It is called the Eden club.  We were at a bar next door and decided just to walk in.  When you walk in there is no music.  There is a bar.  I talked to the owner for a bit as I slammed one tequila shot for Eden.  He said people come in, pick a girl and go upstairs.  $3000 baht for 1.5 hours.  $3500 and up to take her home.  Other places I hear charge between $1000-$1900 baht.  To be clear we are talking between $25- $95 dollars.  We maybe spent 5 minutes in Eden and then we cruised.

The third place for the sex trade is everywhere else in Bangkok.  You go into any bar and their are prostitutes.  At least in the Sukumvit area.  Almost every bar in Bangkok has a fucking pool table.  Whores play pool and wait to score someone.  I found it pretty funny to watch these women in action both on the street and in bars.  It reminded me of construction workers cat calling at women.  But here that is all reversed. 

Don't make the mistake that every woman is a prostitute.  Easy to think that in the areas where there are lots of Farangs.  Go to any normal area of the city and you will not see much of this.  You can pretty much tell who is and who isn't outside of Farangland.

Oh and I guess massage parlors have prostitutes as well.  You can go into any of them and just get a foot massage or Thai massage.  Dee and I get massages all the time.  Everything is clean etc at the places we go.  You can look from the outside and see the way the women hold themselves and know what is up.  If a place offers more than massage often the girls wear matching outfits and hang out outside to intice people in.  We stay clear of those places.

A great place to dance in Nana Hotel.  There is a club in the basement and they play great music.  Sometimes Britney spears mixes and sometimes real house.  Always fun.  Have been twice.  A mix of normal women and prostitutes.  But mostly if a girl is there after dark without a man in that area she is looking to make money from sex.  Sounds sexist but it very true.  Normal Thai women just do not venture out a lone into those areas.  No chance in hell.

I would provide some type of photo but that would require me having my legs broken just like at any strip bar in America.

Plenty of legitimate nightlife in Bangkok but this is everything I learned while observing the darker side of Bangkok Nightlife.  I'm guessing a single person could learn a lot more. :)  I'm mentioning all this because to omit it would just not paint the proper picture of where I am.  Everytime I walk outside I am surrounded by prostitutes.  Its just a fact.  Sad in some ways but entertaining in others.  Its just real life in Bangkok.

Last moments in Bangkok

It isn't very often that I build up something I am looking forward to as much as I did for this trip to meet Dee in Thailand.  It is even more rare for my expectations to be exceeded.  This trip was everything I imagined it would be plus so much more. 

Not sure what I really wanted in someways by deciding to give up on American women forever.  What I found was a beautiful person with so much love and personality. 

Now I have to leave and that really sucks bad.  We will wait at least 5 months to see each other again.  I'm very sad  but at the same time I know things are just beginning.  If nothing else I have learned how to be patient. Can't really bitch this might have been the most fun I have ever had.

We have been together non stop every second for 1 month and we have a great time.  Dee is an Angel.  I'm totally stupidly in love.

There will not be new entries for while.  Back to talking on the phone with Dee everyday twice a day.  The next entries will regard the various milestones for the Visa.  Thanks to all those who followed along.  Hope it was entertaining. :)  Peace Out from Bangkok.

June Post

June was not showing up in the month total so I am just publishing a June post.  In June I was in shock.  Just sitting there not believing that Dee wasn't next to me anymore.

June Post

Just added this in Nov. 06 because June wasn"t showing up at all.  During June I just stared at the wall in disbelief that I had left Dee in Thailand.

Homeland Security

Well everyone can sleep well tonight knowing that really beautiful Thai women can not endanger the Homeland without jumping through a thousand hoops.  I haven't written in a while so a few things are worth noting.  As a reminder my application for Dee's Visa was received by the Immigration on May 17th I believe. I returned home from Thailand on May 23.  That was super hard. Dee and I had a tearful goodbye.  Wow that totally sucked bad.  It took almost an hour for me to walk away.  I kept searching for a way to change reality but there wasn't one.  Or at least not a sane one.  For about a week I felt like some one had kicked me in the face and i guess the heart.  We went back to the way things were before I went to Thailand.  Talking on the phone twice a day and still having a good time doing it.  After a few weeks passed we settled back in to waiting to see each other again as opposed to mourning the fact that we had just left each other. 

Then in late May I got really shitty news.  On January 6th President Bush had signed a new law designed to protect women.  Well that really isn't the shitty part. :)  The law basically just requires that the government ask additional questions on applications for a finance Visa.  Things like are you a kidnapper, a rapist, etc..   Good things to ask I guess.  The law was set to go into effect on March 6th. Here is the shitty part.  Homeland security didn't have the forms ready.  So on March 6th that stopped processing applications.  On June 20th they had the forms with the supplemental questions ready and they mailed them out to the 10,000 people including me that were being held up.  I read this on Reuters and was really pissed. 

However I received the questions a few days later and they received them on July 7th.  My lawyer still thinks that late October is possible for Dee to have the Visa but who knows.

Dee and I decided that we would have a Thai ceremony in Thailand on Oct 24th regardless of the Visa.  I really don't want to plan this ceremony around what the government does.  If she has a Visa in late October then she will come home with me.  If not, I will have to return again to bring her home.  At least this way we have a date in our minds of when we will see each other. That makes things easier for us.

My Father, my brother Sloan, Tony D and like 5 of my fathers friends are going to attend.  Another guy at work Eric,  is a maybe.  Should be cool.  A Buddhist ceremony in the southern jungles of Thailand.  Kinda cool.

For now my life is on hold until the government lets me hit the play button again.  It is really a screwed up feeling to know that there are people I don't even know who have our lives in their hands.  Not a normal situation really.  But now 2 months have already passed since I left and there is only 3 months to go until I see Dee. 

Luckily work keeps me busy and makes the time go by pretty fast.

When this is all over Dee and I will have gone through so much.  How many couples have to be apart for 9 out of the 10 months after they meet.  Yeah I think we can deal with almost anything because of the strength of our love.  Geez that sounds so cheezy but dammit it is true. :)

Notice of Approval!

Today I checked the immigration website with my case number and saw this:

"This case has been approved. On July 24, 2006, an approval notice was mailed. If 30 days have passed and you have not received this notice, you may wish to verify or update your address. To update your address, please speak to an Immigration Information Officer during business hours."

So today or tomorrow I should receive the written notice in the mail.  I already called my lawyer and now he is able to set everything in motion in Thailand.  Kick Ass!!!

Dee and I were so happy this morning we almost pissed ourselves.  I didn't expect to get this part done until late August.  My lawyer now will request an interview at the U.S. Embassy in Bangkok.  He will have someone escort Dee to the various agencies she needs to get paperwork done with in Bangkok.  The waiting for an interview part could take 2 to 3 months or it could take 3 weeks.  It is a very difficult thing to precisely pinpoint.

We both needed some good news.  Just waiting and waiting with no progress really sucks.  The only person that isn't happy is Dee's sister Dang.  She now realizes that this is really going to happen and she will lose her roommate and sister.  Sorry Dang. :(

I chose the picture of above special for the Haters out there.  People may not realize that I know all the crappy things they say about me behind my back for doing this but I do.  I will not call them on it because I really do not want to waste energy with people that pretend to be supportive and actually think I am either a pig or just crazy.  I mentioned to Dee about these type of people and she suggested I put the above picture on my next blog entry. Kinda cute.

It is partially my fault for thinking out loud and making jokes along certain lines but oh well. So again to the haters, FU.  Dee and I are happy and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. :)

 

More Progress :)

It is starting to look like Dee will have her Visa by the time I arrive for the wedding in October.  Dee received her packet from the U.S. Embassy.  My lawyer sprung into action right away.  Today Dee went to his office and filled out the papers she had received.  These papers are what is needed to make a request with the embassy for an actual interview.  After filling out the documents she was escorted to the National Police Headquarters and the best Hospital in Bangkok by a girl from my lawyer's staff for her police and health checks. 

This is where my lawyer's firm really starts to earn his money.  She was personally escorted through all of this today and it made me feel really good that she had help and wasn't alone.  Everything went well.  The health check is almost instant and everything is cool there. She will get her police papers back on the 25th of this month.  Tomorrow my lawyer will go to the embassy and request and interview formally and she will be given an interview date.  He estimates that she should have her interview in September and receive the Visa around the same day as the interview.

That rocks hard.  I arrive there on the 19th of October and having this taken care of before then will decrease stress levels alot.  Weddings are stressful enough.  Imagine for your wedding that you first need to be apart for 5 months, then fly across the world, coordinate another 11 people or so to meet you there in Bangkok, then get those same people into the southern jungles of Thailand, when you get there no one in the brides family speaks English....if you had to add on top of that, "I wonder if my wife can come home with me or not."  Well that is just a bit much.

We are doing a lot of planning for the wedding.  Translators for my father and I, invitations, flowers, Buddhist monks and of course me trying to make sure I understand the rituals etc..  It all starts to be very fun when you know that at the end of this we are together from that point forward.

I know from past experience that it is easy to take someone for granted under normal circumstances.  In America, you meet a woman at a party...you like each other and quickly your lives are intertwined together.  You didn't have to work for it, it was easy.  It was so easy you can just get pissed at something and move on and start another relationship. 

In this situation, to go through this Hell, you better be in love and it better be mutual or you are both insane or just stupid.  I'll be very grateful for this experience...once it is over.  I'll remember that just her voice and humor could make me smile from half a world away for almost a year. You know that metal head song, I think its by Cinderella "Don't know what you got till its gone."  Well sometimes you break up with a girl and then you say to yourself, "You know she was kinda cool in this way and that way."  Then you question if you threw something good away.  With this situation I get to fall in love and then see right away what it is like to live with her and then have her go away.  I get to feel that pain way before I could ever think about making an over emotional mistake.  Yes quite lucky to realize what I have before it could ever be gone forever.

Interview Date Scheduled

The last date we wait for is now decided!  Dee's interview date will  be October 11th.  My lawyer had previously advised that I schedule our traveling at least 1 week after the interview date.  So all good there.  Plenty of time to get the Visa, have our wedding and then return to America with Dee.  Everyone I talked to that went through this process spent 1 to 1.5 years getting to the point where they had the Visa.  With  my lawyer, even with crazy paperwork weirdness from the government the entire process was 5 months from start to finish.  Yep, Brian Wright (My lawyer) is a stud.  Total stud for making this happen so fast.

This has been a crazy symphony of coincidence.  At work I just happen to have a small lull in work from the Oct 17th to Oct. 29th so I could go then for the wedding.  The interview date is the 11th with the Visa in her hands by the 18th.  Just dumb luck that everything has happen at just the right time to allow everything to happen without incident.

Now to put all the final touches on the wedding and travel plan for the various guests from America.  Shouldn't be a big deal really.  Also this month my lawyer and his staff will take Dee through two practice interviews to prepare her.  They also advise her on what to wear etc..

Almost time to just have a normal life with Dee.  Almost. :)

Military Coups and a new wedding dress

I woke this morning intending to write a nice little entry about how Dee and her friends had picked out her wedding dress and bought my Thai ceremonial suit for the wedding.  This cute little story however has been overshadowed by the fact that the Thai Military took over the government.  Rather than me droning on about my take on the thing, here are a few links regarding the details.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/09/19/thailand.coup.rumor/index.html

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,214498,00.html

Thailand has had 17 of these since World War II.  According to Dee everything is fine.  Everyone wanted the Prime Minister gone and they are happy that the military got rid of the guy.  So OK.  I don't think this will effect any thing for the wedding or for Dee's Visa.  Everything should still go as planned.  The last one of these was 15 years ago. Great timing.  Swell. :(

But wow....  Do we really need another stressful angle for this story?  It is almost comical if it wasn't such and unstable situation.  I was very worried all day about Dee but after reading and reading up on everything I think things will just keep moving in Bangkok as normal after a day or so.

In happier news,  all the family and friends that are attending have booked their flights as have I.  I have also booked Dee's flight to America.  That was kind of a cool feeling.  Hotels are booked and Dee is preparing everything for the wedding.

Oh yeah, and the dress.  I think it looks great!  Her friends are all helping her prepare and pick things out.  It really seems like Dee has a lot of friends that really love her and are there for her.  Like I have said before everyone we talked to in Thailand instantly liked her and smiled more because she was in the room.  She has an impressive magnetism and a contagious optimism.

Only 27 more days of this situation of endless waiting. By the time we are together for good it will have been a 10 month journey.  The story of us fighting to be together is almost over but the Story of Sean and Dee is just beginning.

11 days to go again :)

Dee would not like that I put this picture on the website.  Thai people kind of fear these big statues that are located in places where the king has business.  They are there to protect the king.  I think there is actually a Thai horror movie that has one of these come to life and kill a bunch of people.  I chose the picture because I feel like I am now at the gate and ready to walk in.  The long journey of paperwork being almost complete.

My brother was hospitalized in the last few days so my father and his friends will most likely not come to Thailand. Life can have inconvenient timing sometimes.  So now it will just be my brother Sloan, Tony and I.  I'm disappointed but there is nothing that can be done about it.

Dee had her first practice interview with my lawyer the other day.  She will get through it quite easy I think. The interview is designed to weed out liars, whores and scams.  None of those things apply here and the questions are quite easy.  "What does your fiancée do for a living etc.. etc.." Dee knows more about me than I think anyone else do it will be no problem.

As this title suggests 6 months ago there was 11 days to go before I met Dee in person for the first time.  I am starting to feel grateful for this time we have had waiting.  We have shared a lot more with each other about ourselves and our love has grown stronger and stronger.  So it’s all good.

Once Dee is in America this blog will end.  I mean how many times can you write how much you love and miss someone without even boring yourself.  But the goal of the blog was to keep notes for myself so I can eventually write a book on the subject of finding the right girl in Thailand and going through the Visa process.  The blog should be decent notes to remind myself of the small things.

One thing I haven't mentioned before is how lucky I feel that Dee has the type of family that she does.  Very traditional and good hearted people.  Even if you find the right girl..if she has a family that is money hungry and unscrupulous you could be in for a difficult ride.  In my case the family loves me and supports of both.  Very lucky.  I think I would recommend in general that if you want to marry a woman from Thailand that you focus exclusively on women from the mid south of the country.  They tend to have more money and not be so desperate.  The north, where most prostitutes come from is I think a desperately poor area.  They really have no way to make a decent amount of money.  In the south they have shrimp farming, rubber tree and great land for rice and other types of farming. The only thing they export from the north I'm pretty sure is sex.

Interview Day

At 7:00 a.m. on Wednesday Oct. 11th (Thai time), Dee had her interview with the Embassy.  Everything went great.  The lady that interviewed her was extremely cool to her and seemed to be pulled into the love story of Dee and I.  According to the lady doing the interview lady Dee will get her Visa on Friday. So Thursday evening my time.  Just like that!  When i got home from work, pretty late, Dee excitedly told me all about the experience.

It's getting so close to the time of my departure.  I can feel my old life slipping away day by day.  There is no time to wish time would go faster.  I have a beta to ship.  An aprtment to make sure is clean and other little last minute details to finish.

The Hotels are booked.  The private drivers are set.  The airline tickets are purchased.  Tony D has all his shots!!! LOL.  In six days I'll be with Dee for good.  Holy shit!!!!

Shane - Updated 10.18.06

I'm in Bangkok right now.  I wrote the below text just before I left.  I made my choice. This morning I called my father.  Shane died while I was flying over the ocean. My father's emotions are obviously very messed up right now.  When I called him all he talked about was the 200 people that were flying from all over the country to be there for Shane.  He made sure I knew that he wanted me there...barely making a reference to the fact that he knew I could not change my plans.

I will have to carry this for the rest of my life that my family needed me and I was not there for them.  Regardless, I said goodbye to my brother and I had to go to Thailand and prepare for the wedding.  That is the way it is.  I will suffer the horrible things people will say about me now.  But, if I could change time and do this over again.  I would change nothing.  Goodbye Shane, I will miss you and I love you.

From October 16th:

I fly out of San Francisco in 6 hours.  My brother was diagnosed with Leukemia back in March.  The doctors have given him 24-48 hours to live in the last few hours. 

The picture above is from happier times.  The family went to Orlando.  I think this was taken in one of those little booths at the nightclub area in greater Walt Disney world.  Shane is 25 years old.  He is a great brother.  A really great kid.  Words can't decribe what I am feeling right now.

He was a brilliant capitalist.  When he was nine he used to buy tubs of licorice for 2.00 bucks and then sell each strand for 50 cents.  There used to be a video game called capitalism.  He played that around 11 years old and smoked all my scores.  His sense of humor was dry and damn funny.  We had a  healthy competiveness between us and I am going to miss him so much.

Right now 50 people are gathered at the hospital on death watch.  I flew home a week ago to say goodbye.  Now I will miss his funeral and a final goodbye.  The joy of being united with Dee is mixed with sadness and guilt at the imminent loss of my brother and my absense from this event.  I am faced with an impossible choice.

I could postpone the wedding.  I could fly back one final time.  However I have made commitments to my soon to be wife.  I have given my word to Dee and her family.  My soul will suffer no matter what I do.  I can not be there for my family and Dee at the same time. 

I'm going to Thailand.  I'm going to bring my wife home.

Leading up to the Wedding

As they say...the blog must go on.  I have not really had it in me to write the play by play of everything as a result of my brother passing.  But this blog was designed to chronicle the adventures of Dee and I and I suppose that shouldn't stop.  The picture above is Bob (Kelly's cat) in Bangkok.  Bob has done several interviews on video already.  He is pretty pissed he can not get American cat food here but he is working through it.

In the last few days we have some last minute Visa drama.  But in the end Dee now has her Visa stamped in her pasport.  Super cool!  Tony, Dee and I have had a few nights out on the town. It is pretty cool to have someone I know here meeting Dee and saying to me, "Wow dude.  You picked a good one."  Because who knows....maybe this whole time I was nuts.  But aparently not.  Aparently she rocks as much as I thought she did.

Amazingly I have taken very few pictures and video.  Things seem to be so busy that this just isn't in the cards.  Today is Sunday night in Bangkok.  Dee is driving to the South with her Uncle with a truck load of flowers.  Monday night Tony and I fly to the South and then Tuesday morning(Monday night SF time) is the big day.  There will be major pictures and video of the actual event.

It almost doesn't feel real.  Been spending my day jumping between joyful wedding prepartion and deep sorrow over the loss of my brother.  My family I think, regardless of the fact that they said they understood and thought I should continue with my plans are dropping the kind of guilt trip on me that I really think should be reserved for people that kill Santa Claus on Christmas.  Most of this I think is just sorrow and I am an easy target to rage at.  That needs to be put on hold however.  No point in ruining both a funeral and a wedding.  At least one of them should be done correctly. 

Bangkok is still Bangkok and Dee and I are as in love as ever.  As far as the military coup that occurred...well there are no signs of it here except that almost no tourist seem to be here.  Chicken shits.  C'mon Thailand has a coup about as often as the U.S. has a cencus.  It's no big deal.

In 48 hours I'll be married and in 96 hours I think Dee will be home.  Then I think I am allowed a normal life and not a minute to soon.

Oh and if you come to Thailand I highly recommend the President Solitare.  Beautiful hotel and great service.

Just Married: From Bangkok to San Francisco

Just when there was more to write than ever I just couldn't.  The stress of 2 weddings, my brother's death and work have ensured no posts.  So anyway, October 23rd to Nov 2nd went something like this.

Dee Recieved the Visa!

On Oct. 24th Dee and I were Married in Dee's home district in the South.  Tony D represented me. Three hundred or so of Dee's family represented her. Some of her Family actually helped with the duties my family would normally do.

It was a beautiful and crazy wedding.  First a mile long prosession to the bride's house with ceremonial gift's for the Bride.  Then I had to ceremoniously pay off some kids holding string in front of her house and in front of her bedroom door.

Then an hour or so of Monks and Magik.  There is a special part of the ceremony where you honor dead relatives that could not be there.  So I was able to have a short ceremony for my brother.

Then it was time for Thai Whiskey. I hung with everyone for 2 hours or so drinking then I was aloud to pass out on my wife's bed.  Tony kept representing.  At some point...I think like an hour after passing out Tony drug me off the floor and demanded I get off my ass and dance and be there at the wedding.  Then there was 2 hours of dancing and more drinking.

We pulled away around 10 p.m. and went back to the Twin Lotus.  A short flight the next morning back to Bangkok.  On the 26th we arrived together in San Francisco.  Tony was there through it all.  The one person to witness the madness.  He rocked it.  I hear he is also available for Bar Mitzvah's and kid birthday parties. :)

The journey to be with Dee everyday like normal people is over.  It took 10 months.  I'm exhausted but so in love.  It was worth every shitty comment, every rolling eyed look and even the scorn of my family for missing my brother's funeral.  I had to make nothing but hard choices to get here.

Now we are married and having a blast.  Our personalities fit like a glove.  It is almost surreal that I type this with her casually sitting next to me.  I think the most I ever did for a girl before this was drive to Sacramento.  Dee is an easy thing to agree to devote your life to.  She has changed me in a positive way and I think her life kind of rocks now as well.

Her first night out was in San Francisco was on Halloween. Welcome to America Dee!

Happily ever after....

So there's a bit of paper work left to get Dee permanent residency.  Boring for any reader.  I will spend my spare time with Dee instead of writing about her.

Thanks for reading.

Now that Dee is here and we are married she is truly....The Last American Girl.